Queen of Awkward

Guys! I have my hot chocolate next to me and I am watching The Bachelor finale. Basically I am living the Monday night dream. I am so bummed the season is ending. Can’t we just start a new season next Monday? I am sure they can easily find a cute, single guy that is willing to be on television.

Anyhoo!I just left kettlebell so my abs feel like they are on fire!! Do you ever have a moment where you are in a public environment and it’s like your brain travels to another land then all of a sudden you remember where you are? In my class, the instructor was showing us a move, then all of a sudden I started thinking about something embarrassing that I did at work today. Next thing I know I look around and everyone is holding their kettlebell and I am just standing there with my kettlebell still on the ground.

I am the queen of awkward during fitness classes. Last weekend I went to grab my weight during soul cycle and my hand hit the weight into the wall. I guess I went to grab it and the front of my hand hit the weight too quickly. Now imagine me twisting my feet out of the locked pedals and the instructor asking if “I was okay back there?”

Sending out good vibes for us all to have an awesome Tuesday!

ice skating

Irish soda bread from Chelsea Market 🙂

Good Morning Sunshine!

I woke up at 3:30am feeling wide awake. I didn’t get much sleep Tuesday night because my final was yesterday so I was exhausted last night. I fell asleep pretty early.

And now I am sitting on the couch watching a movie while enjoying a cup of hot tea.I love getting up before the sunrise because I feel like I am the only person awake in the world. I know I sound corny but somehow waking up before the sunrise always makes me feel like what I assume it would be like if time stopped. I get to relax in a quiet atmosphere while enjoying some of my favorite hobbies. In addition, I feel like I get a head start for my day. I hate if I sleep in till 12 and I am rushing out of the house to get to whatever place I need to be.

Most of the time I go to bed pretty late or at least it seems I have for the past four months, which means I have to set my alarm clock at least five times in a week. I don’t know if when other people were children if they pictured themselves as responsible grown ups that wake up as soon as the alarm clock goes off because I know I did. Apparently, I had high expectations for my future self because sleeping through my alarm and turning it off when I shouldn’t has become my specialty.

You know how people say when they get in the shower they start making these grand plans? Well nighttime me is like that. At night I set my alarm thinking that four hours of sleep will be fine and I will get sooooo much done the next day. I will fix everything and bring peace to the world. Morning Ashley is the opposite of night Ashley. Morning Ashley just wants to sleep, punches responsibilities in the face, and turns off every alarm that was set by night Ashley.

Anyhoo sorry for the long post! I hope everyone has a lovely holiday this week. If you are not celebrating this week I hope you are finding time to relax and do something you enjoy! 🙂

 

Dream Job List

I have mentioned before that I am not sure which type of career I want to work in. I used to know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was that kid whom when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up had an answer. The answer was always a good job that had benefits and a good salary. Adults would always say, ‘that’s great.’ I would smile at the adults like I was the smartest little kid. In high school, I made myself a timeline. I knew when I would graduate college, where I would live, when I would attend graduate school, and even when my imaginary husband and I should get married. All of my goals became a bit disordered when I attended college. I noticed people were studying all of these cool majors and I started to become a bit jealous. I met a lot of kids that didn’t even have goals the way I did. I became stressed out at school and I thought that maybe what I was studying wasn’t for me. I started to wonder if I didn’t try something different in school would I regret it in the future. I am a overthinker. I over think just about anything a person can think about. I ended up changing my major FOUR times in college. All of sudden my future started to look lit bit foggy. I couldn’t really see what direction I was going into.

Picking a career is so scary for me because it is such a big part of a person’s life. This topic will pop up a lot on my blog because it is part of the reason I wrote this blog. I think a of people can relate to this post even if they know what career they want to be in. We all spend moments in our life thinking ‘what if?”.

I thought I would end this post with a list of my five dream jobs. I would say yes in a heartbeat if someone asked me if I wanted to do any of these jobs. I am aware I will never do any of them because I am either too short, not a dancer, and can’t draw.

1. Victoria Secret Angel. I do not even need to be an angel, I could just walk the fashion show. I get so excited when the fashion show comes on every year. I would love to walk with the big wings while my hair blows behind me. I could walk pass whatever singer is performing that year. I could see myself getting all beautified while  wearing a pink VS robe. Maybe in another lifetime? For now, I will have to practice my walk in the living room.

2. Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel. She must have the coolest job ever! I love travel so the idea of getting paid to travel sounds like a dream come true. I do not even have to be on the show. I could just work on the show because then I would at least still get to go to all the exotic locations.

3. Back up dancer at a concert. I walk on my toes so my dancing resembles a praying mantis type walk, however I still break out in dances no matter where I am. I love concerts and the atmosphere so getting to experience that in a job would be fantastic.

4. The designer of the Victoria Secret outfits for the fashion show. Again! A job with Victoria Secret. I wish I had the creative ability to design outfits for the show. I am always excited to see what design and theme the company decides each year.

5. A singer. I wouldn’t like being famous but I can’t imagine how it could not be fun singing and dancing on stage.

Below is a picture of lettuce wrap tacos that I made. I mixed ground turkey and black beans with taco seasoning. I put whatever cheese that was in the fridge on top with some guacamole. It tasted just okay. My sister showed me a crockpot chicken recipe that I could use in tacos that I think would taste much better.

;( lettuce tacos

Being Brave

Everyone has a different way of describing the term brave. According to me, brave is when you do something out of your comfort zone. Someone is definitely reading this post and thinking the past two sentences are so dumb. And maybe that person is right or wrong that is all up to each person’s interpretation of this post. Anyway being brave is basically how I have been trying to live my life this past year and how I plan to live it in the future.

Being brave is not easy. It takes a lot of work to step out of your comfort zone. So I thought I would start this post with a funny story.

I mentioned multiple times on this blog that I joined a soccer league. I was too afraid to do it alone so I asked my friend to join. I hope one day that I won’t always feel this need to have people with me when I join certain things. Anyway on the day of our first scrimmage I was really nervous. I started to feel anxious and worried as time ticked closer to scrimmage time. I had never met my teammates. My friend was starting to get even more nervous than me and worst of all we had no idea what field we were playing on. The park where the game was had multiple fields on it. I was starting to get that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. When I start to get nervous or anxious I become very shy and lose the ability to talk. Unfortunately, my friend, who is usually outgoing, was experiencing the same symptoms as me. I started to think ‘come on Ashley you can do this.’ I grew enough courage to walk up to a few people and ask them if they were there for soccer until one nice guy said he was. My friend and I felt a little less nervous once we knew where our team would be playing. However, our ability to do a lot of speaking was lost on us. We were the only girls playing on the team that day! Horrifying!

So what we learned from that scrimmage was that most of the guys took the game very seriously. One of the guys has such a terrible way of making remarks about the team’s playing that I try not to listen to him. He basically lets the team know how he feels about EVERYTHING. My friend and I joined the team because we like playing soccer for fun and wanted to meet new people while doing something active. Apparently, what we expected the team to be like was completely wrong.

Last Thursday, was our first game and I did an excellent job of making myself look like a fool. I was playing midfield and doing an okay job. To be honest, the guys never pass to my friend and me. The only time I would get the ball was when I stole it from someone on the opposite team or the ball accidentally landed near me. During the game on Thursday I was standing in the middle of the field while a guy from my team was kicking the ball on my right. A guy on the other team stole the ball from my teammate and kicked the ball. The kick made the ball fly high up in the air toward me. I wasn’t sure if I should hit it with my head or kick it because due to my height I was a bit limited at reaching the ball. I wasn’t even sure if the soccer ball would land in front of me or behind me. My teammate and the guy who kicked the ball came running toward me and both jumped up to reach the ball. In a split second, I realized that I was going to get hit by one of the guys so I turned my body and the guy from the other team banged into me. In other words, I got hit in the back by a guy who was at the same time getting hit by another guy. The guy on the other team fell as I did. My whole body fell on the turf so my hands were covered in gravel. However, the guys kept playing right next to my body so I was terrified that I was either going to get kicked or hit and all I could see was the ball’s shadow. I was about to get up when the ball hit me in the head, then the referee finally stopped the game after shouting,”Guys, Guys!’ because I do not think that some of the guys realized I was lying on the floor. I jumped up from the turf and was asked if I was okay, then we started the game again. What is weird is that I wasn’t even embarrassed but I did start thinking that I was done with playing soccer for the night. Haha. When the game ended my friend came over to me and the first thing she said was that my mascara was running. The whole game was played in the rain, not a drizzle but like a heavy rain that would be used in a romantic movie when the couple reunites and kisses. My clothes were drenched, my hair was soaked, and my mascara made my face look like I was just broken up with. By the way, another girl joined our team that night. She scored two goals and one of my teammates went up to her to say she played well that night while I had a referee ask if I was okay. 🙂

When I got in the car I asked my friend if she saw my fall and she said, ‘It was like watching a car accident. It was so bad that you didn’t want to look but you couldn’t look away.’ We both laughed about it in the car and reminisced about the game. However, when I got home the humiliation started to dawn on me. I kept reminding myself I would never see these people once the season ended. Like my friend Taylor Swift says I reminded myself to just ‘shake it off.’ I started thinking I was the worst soccer player and the guys probably hate that I am on the team which is probably true. I would definitely feel better if that happened on my last game because then I wouldn’t have to see my teammates again. Some things that helped me get over the humiliation that night was remembering that no one on the team is good enough to play as a professional and that my fall is just part of living. I didn’t make a scene and cry. I got up and acted like it was no big deal. I was nervous to join a soccer team and I was acting brave by doing so. Showing up to my next game is brave. There are so many things people do everyday that seem simple but are brave actions. I will post more about my interpretation of the word brave. I am sorry about how long this post is but I felt this story was a good way of introducing my posts on bravery. I actually prefer reading blog posts that show pictures. Haha. Hopefully, my next posts will have pictures. 🙂

Here is a post of my ice cream that I ate on July 4th.

the best kind of icecream is vanilla and rainbow sprinkles :)

the best kind of ice cream is vanilla and rainbow sprinkles 🙂

Interviews Done!!!! :)

I finished all the interviews that I had for this week! 😉 Surprisingly, I do not get as nervous about interviews as I think I would. I am the type of person that gets nervous, anxious, and worried very easily. My friend likes to say that I turn a mole hill into a mountain very quickly. But when it comes to interviews I just try to walk in just being my awesome self. One major point that I remind myself everytime I walk into an interview is that if I truly make a fool out of myself, then the only person that will know is the interviewer and me. The interviewer isn’t going to write on Facebook or Twitter, “Hey, just to let everyone know Ashley was very awkward in her interview this morning.”

At 22, I have had my fair share of interviews, which defintely helps me through them. The one type of interview I still get extremely nervous about are phone interviews. You would think that something that is not face to face wouldn’t be nerve wracking but it totally is for me. I had to do one for Disney and I was so nervous beforehand I think the grip I had my phone could have crushed the tiny thing. The only thing that helps me get through phone interviews is that I remind myself that if the interview starts to get really bad or I lose the ability to speak then I can always hang up. My mom hates when I say this and to be honest I don’t think I would ever really do that. It is quite rude to hang up on someone unless, of course, it was someone telling me I would get to meet Kate Middleton because then I would probably hang up from being so excited. 🙂

Funny Story

When I was 15 and didn’t have my first job yet, I got a call from my friend telling me that the local baseball field was hiring for the summer so we went to the mall to be interviewed. I was pretty excited about it because if we both got the job, then we would get to spend our summer together working. I wasn’t even nervous for the interview. While waiting in line we ran into school friends and we just chatted during the wait until I was called in. I didn’t even have a resume because I was 15 and had never worked before. When I was called in I gave the interviewer a terrible, flimsy handshake. He then asked how I was and what position I was applying for. He couldn’t really ask me much about past experience so his next question was, “What do you like to do for fun?” For some reason I blanked out at that moment and said, “I like to read and….I don’t know.” That’s right! I said, ‘I don’t know.’ The question he asked me is probably one of the easiest questions to answer. I could list probably a 100 things right now if someone was to ask me that. Guess who didn’t get the job? This lady! But neither did my friend so I wasn’t completely heart broken.

Time to watch the Bacholorette (no judgement please)!  The guys are so cute this season. 🙂

Slow Tuesday

I planned for today to be super productive in the morning. I thought I would accomplish all my tasks before 12pm. Now that I look back I sort of have to laugh at the idea that I would have everything done by 12. First, I planned to wake up at 8:45, instead woke up at 9:30. Second, I planned to eat breakfast, then immediately workout and walk my mom’s dogs. Third, I thought I would apply for 10 jobs.

I failed at finishing any of these tasks before 12pm and that really bugs me. When it comes to work and school I always have things done on time but when it comes to my everyday life, I just don’t. Why is that? However, I do blame half of my laziness on the sweet potato I made this morning. I woke up craving a sweet potato and scrambled eggs with american cheese in them. I know I am weird.

yummy

yummy

The sweet potato took me 30 minutes to make but that is still no excuse for my laziness. I could have walked the dogs while waiting for the food to cook or sent out a few emails.

Fortunately, I finished most of my tasks by 8pm. Score! I ran 3 miles, applied to 5 jobs, and walked the dogs. I think when it comes to accomplishing tasks I need to do them immediatly when I wake up or I keep putting them off. For instance, watching an episode of Game of Thrones this morning was far more entertaining than applying for jobs. As soon as I pressed play on the television I no longer felt the need to get anything else done right away. I think next week I should set a new goal that involves no more procastinating. If I didn’t procastinate so much, then I would probably be less stressed and would have a lot more time to relax at night. 🙂 Anyhoo! Tomorrow I will be going to my internship so I won’t have to worry about being too lazy. My internship allows me to be on a certain schedule so procastination isn’t really an option. Yay!

Update on goals:

  • I have ran 13 miles so far, which means I surpassed my goal. Woohoo!
  • I applied to 5 jobs. I only have 5 more to go! 🙂

Funny little story

I was taking a shower earlier and my phone rang. I usually listen to Pandora while I am showering so my phone is always right next to the tub. When I saw who was calling I thought it was my mom because it had the same caller id as her job. I answered the phone on speaker and yelled, “Hi,mom!” because the shower head was still running. No one answered back to me and i could barely hear as it is. After I hung up my phone rang one more time but I figured I would just call her back in 2 minutes. When I got out of the shower, I noticed a notification on my phone that mentioned I had a voicemail. And that is when I made this face :O. I remembered that I applied for a job where my mom works about a month ago. I still can’t believe that happened. :/