Everyone has a different way of describing the term brave. According to me, brave is when you do something out of your comfort zone. Someone is definitely reading this post and thinking the past two sentences are so dumb. And maybe that person is right or wrong that is all up to each person’s interpretation of this post. Anyway being brave is basically how I have been trying to live my life this past year and how I plan to live it in the future.
Being brave is not easy. It takes a lot of work to step out of your comfort zone. So I thought I would start this post with a funny story.
I mentioned multiple times on this blog that I joined a soccer league. I was too afraid to do it alone so I asked my friend to join. I hope one day that I won’t always feel this need to have people with me when I join certain things. Anyway on the day of our first scrimmage I was really nervous. I started to feel anxious and worried as time ticked closer to scrimmage time. I had never met my teammates. My friend was starting to get even more nervous than me and worst of all we had no idea what field we were playing on. The park where the game was had multiple fields on it. I was starting to get that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. When I start to get nervous or anxious I become very shy and lose the ability to talk. Unfortunately, my friend, who is usually outgoing, was experiencing the same symptoms as me. I started to think ‘come on Ashley you can do this.’ I grew enough courage to walk up to a few people and ask them if they were there for soccer until one nice guy said he was. My friend and I felt a little less nervous once we knew where our team would be playing. However, our ability to do a lot of speaking was lost on us. We were the only girls playing on the team that day! Horrifying!
So what we learned from that scrimmage was that most of the guys took the game very seriously. One of the guys has such a terrible way of making remarks about the team’s playing that I try not to listen to him. He basically lets the team know how he feels about EVERYTHING. My friend and I joined the team because we like playing soccer for fun and wanted to meet new people while doing something active. Apparently, what we expected the team to be like was completely wrong.
Last Thursday, was our first game and I did an excellent job of making myself look like a fool. I was playing midfield and doing an okay job. To be honest, the guys never pass to my friend and me. The only time I would get the ball was when I stole it from someone on the opposite team or the ball accidentally landed near me. During the game on Thursday I was standing in the middle of the field while a guy from my team was kicking the ball on my right. A guy on the other team stole the ball from my teammate and kicked the ball. The kick made the ball fly high up in the air toward me. I wasn’t sure if I should hit it with my head or kick it because due to my height I was a bit limited at reaching the ball. I wasn’t even sure if the soccer ball would land in front of me or behind me. My teammate and the guy who kicked the ball came running toward me and both jumped up to reach the ball. In a split second, I realized that I was going to get hit by one of the guys so I turned my body and the guy from the other team banged into me. In other words, I got hit in the back by a guy who was at the same time getting hit by another guy. The guy on the other team fell as I did. My whole body fell on the turf so my hands were covered in gravel. However, the guys kept playing right next to my body so I was terrified that I was either going to get kicked or hit and all I could see was the ball’s shadow. I was about to get up when the ball hit me in the head, then the referee finally stopped the game after shouting,”Guys, Guys!’ because I do not think that some of the guys realized I was lying on the floor. I jumped up from the turf and was asked if I was okay, then we started the game again. What is weird is that I wasn’t even embarrassed but I did start thinking that I was done with playing soccer for the night. Haha. When the game ended my friend came over to me and the first thing she said was that my mascara was running. The whole game was played in the rain, not a drizzle but like a heavy rain that would be used in a romantic movie when the couple reunites and kisses. My clothes were drenched, my hair was soaked, and my mascara made my face look like I was just broken up with. By the way, another girl joined our team that night. She scored two goals and one of my teammates went up to her to say she played well that night while I had a referee ask if I was okay. 🙂
When I got in the car I asked my friend if she saw my fall and she said, ‘It was like watching a car accident. It was so bad that you didn’t want to look but you couldn’t look away.’ We both laughed about it in the car and reminisced about the game. However, when I got home the humiliation started to dawn on me. I kept reminding myself I would never see these people once the season ended. Like my friend Taylor Swift says I reminded myself to just ‘shake it off.’ I started thinking I was the worst soccer player and the guys probably hate that I am on the team which is probably true. I would definitely feel better if that happened on my last game because then I wouldn’t have to see my teammates again. Some things that helped me get over the humiliation that night was remembering that no one on the team is good enough to play as a professional and that my fall is just part of living. I didn’t make a scene and cry. I got up and acted like it was no big deal. I was nervous to join a soccer team and I was acting brave by doing so. Showing up to my next game is brave. There are so many things people do everyday that seem simple but are brave actions. I will post more about my interpretation of the word brave. I am sorry about how long this post is but I felt this story was a good way of introducing my posts on bravery. I actually prefer reading blog posts that show pictures. Haha. Hopefully, my next posts will have pictures. 🙂
Here is a post of my ice cream that I ate on July 4th.